Scene: we're walking through the church parking lot this morning.
Mom: Holy shit, it's hot.
Me: You can't say shit here! Jesus can hear you better!
Mom: Well, I said holy...
A real post will come soon. Eventually.
Showing posts with label Mom and Shirley. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mom and Shirley. Show all posts
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
FOUR MONTHS?
The "dangit I didn't get Mission Intern" has mostly worn off, mostly between the hours of 1-2 AM when I couldn't get to sleep because I was so excited. Well, I was also excited about heading up to Delaware to visit some of Shirley's friends today, but mostly about US-2.
And, AGAIN, I have been paralyzed, because there really isn't anything for me to do right now. (Crap.) Which leads us back to Shirley's constant declarations of, "You need a job."
Boo, job. I am thoroughly not interested, because pretty much the only job I would be able to get is probably total shit. And I am NOT going back to work for the city.
I should probably address that large question that has been popping up everywhere: What the crap is a US-2?
So now you know.
And knowing is half the battle.
And, AGAIN, I have been paralyzed, because there really isn't anything for me to do right now. (Crap.) Which leads us back to Shirley's constant declarations of, "You need a job."
Boo, job. I am thoroughly not interested, because pretty much the only job I would be able to get is probably total shit. And I am NOT going back to work for the city.
I should probably address that large question that has been popping up everywhere: What the crap is a US-2?
So now you know.
And knowing is half the battle.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
OPA!
I am having one of those ridiculously great weekends where everything I'm doing is beyond cool.
Friday: John came down and we went with Mom and Shirley to the Greek Festival! It was awesome. I love festivals! I think all our lives would be better if we had more festivals. I believe this. There were great dancers and music, and I got a jingly belt. Why? BECAUSE I CAN and it makes me smile.
Saturday: Met at West Stokes, then headed down with the choir to Carowinds. I haven't been there in a few years, and it was a LOT more fun than I remember it being. True, we didn't do so well at the start. The Hurler was broken, then Top Gun (aka "AFTERBURN!") was closed for thunder, then Spongebob closed (we were pretty devastated by that...) and finally Thunder Road wasn't cooperating either. But towards the end of the day everything started working and we got a chance to ride almost everything! The new coaster, Carolina Cobra, was a lot better than the Carowinds standard. Maybe now that it's owned by the Ceader Point people, we'll get some good coasters in there!
John picked me up from Carowinds and we proceeded to drive down to Myrtle Beach, spending the entire trip scanning rap stations for the "I'm on a Boat" song and dancing like the 100% caucasian individuals we are.
Sunday: We've gotten to hang out with LAUREN! which is great fun. John and I have played in the Very Cold Atlantic Ocean, and I am slightly less tranlucent than I was yesterday. Since it's my first time at Myrtle Beach, we went down to Broadway at the Beach.
And holy crap this looks amazing. However, John and Lauren are Way Cooler Than I Am, and refused to go buy a wand to solve the puzzles and follow ancient runes. Whatever. Lameasses.
The new Star Trek movie freaking rocks. I think the best part was the middle of the movie, when John and Lauren on either side of me both went, "Holy crap! What's going on?"
Hooray, time-bending mind warp.
I hope everyone else's weekend is going as fantabulously as mine!
Friday: John came down and we went with Mom and Shirley to the Greek Festival! It was awesome. I love festivals! I think all our lives would be better if we had more festivals. I believe this. There were great dancers and music, and I got a jingly belt. Why? BECAUSE I CAN and it makes me smile.
Saturday: Met at West Stokes, then headed down with the choir to Carowinds. I haven't been there in a few years, and it was a LOT more fun than I remember it being. True, we didn't do so well at the start. The Hurler was broken, then Top Gun (aka "AFTERBURN!") was closed for thunder, then Spongebob closed (we were pretty devastated by that...) and finally Thunder Road wasn't cooperating either. But towards the end of the day everything started working and we got a chance to ride almost everything! The new coaster, Carolina Cobra, was a lot better than the Carowinds standard. Maybe now that it's owned by the Ceader Point people, we'll get some good coasters in there!
John picked me up from Carowinds and we proceeded to drive down to Myrtle Beach, spending the entire trip scanning rap stations for the "I'm on a Boat" song and dancing like the 100% caucasian individuals we are.
Sunday: We've gotten to hang out with LAUREN! which is great fun. John and I have played in the Very Cold Atlantic Ocean, and I am slightly less tranlucent than I was yesterday. Since it's my first time at Myrtle Beach, we went down to Broadway at the Beach.
And holy crap this looks amazing. However, John and Lauren are Way Cooler Than I Am, and refused to go buy a wand to solve the puzzles and follow ancient runes. Whatever. Lameasses.
The new Star Trek movie freaking rocks. I think the best part was the middle of the movie, when John and Lauren on either side of me both went, "Holy crap! What's going on?"
Hooray, time-bending mind warp.
I hope everyone else's weekend is going as fantabulously as mine!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Maybe I should contemplate.
Yesterday was my last official day of student teaching.
(I'm still here, of course, because the concert is Tuesday, but I don't have to be here anymore. And that makes all the difference.)
It seems like the official end of my undergraduate education should have some level of contemplation attached, but I'm not feeling terribly pensive. I graduate Sunday, but I really don't care all that much. Everyone's acting like it's such a big deal that I'm graduating Magna Cum Laude, but I feel stupid for it because I slacked a lot sometimes and easily could have been Summa Cum Laude. Everyone acts like this is a major accomplishment, but it isn't, because I've been slated to graduate from college since I was six.
It's not any great accomplishment. It's just a stepping stone, a hoop I had to jump through before I could have any real impact on the world. It's not worth recognizing. It was a completely selfish endeavor--I was too preoccupied with the things I had to do to do anything worthwhile.
The reason I graduated can be basically broken down into things that have nothing whatsoever to do with anything I've done.
1) I'm white, and an American citizen.
2) I have been given immense cultural capital by my family, enabling me to navigate the world and find funds, even when we didn't have any.
3) I have an above-average brain, meaning I can understand and accomplish things without a lot of work.
4) I have been given endless love and support.
5) "Coincidences" in my life, bringing me close to Shirley and trumpet and those around me.
How can we be arrogant? There is nothing in me that is because of me. Everything I am, everything I've done, is because of God. Anything good in me is God's. All the talent, the coincidences, the people who love me...I had as much say in that as I do in tomorrow's weather.
So people congratulate me, and I'm not sure what to say, because none of it's me. Yes, I'm graduating. Yes, I'm glad.
But I'm not proud. I haven't done anything to be proud of.
(I'm still here, of course, because the concert is Tuesday, but I don't have to be here anymore. And that makes all the difference.)
It seems like the official end of my undergraduate education should have some level of contemplation attached, but I'm not feeling terribly pensive. I graduate Sunday, but I really don't care all that much. Everyone's acting like it's such a big deal that I'm graduating Magna Cum Laude, but I feel stupid for it because I slacked a lot sometimes and easily could have been Summa Cum Laude. Everyone acts like this is a major accomplishment, but it isn't, because I've been slated to graduate from college since I was six.
It's not any great accomplishment. It's just a stepping stone, a hoop I had to jump through before I could have any real impact on the world. It's not worth recognizing. It was a completely selfish endeavor--I was too preoccupied with the things I had to do to do anything worthwhile.
The reason I graduated can be basically broken down into things that have nothing whatsoever to do with anything I've done.
1) I'm white, and an American citizen.
2) I have been given immense cultural capital by my family, enabling me to navigate the world and find funds, even when we didn't have any.
3) I have an above-average brain, meaning I can understand and accomplish things without a lot of work.
4) I have been given endless love and support.
5) "Coincidences" in my life, bringing me close to Shirley and trumpet and those around me.
How can we be arrogant? There is nothing in me that is because of me. Everything I am, everything I've done, is because of God. Anything good in me is God's. All the talent, the coincidences, the people who love me...I had as much say in that as I do in tomorrow's weather.
So people congratulate me, and I'm not sure what to say, because none of it's me. Yes, I'm graduating. Yes, I'm glad.
But I'm not proud. I haven't done anything to be proud of.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
College Kid's Guide to Dirty Dishes
1. Walk in. Smell. Say, "I have to do the dishes TODAY."
2. Watch a movie.
3. Repeat steps 1 & 2 for a week.
4. "OK, seriously, I have to do the dishes."
5. Have a beer.
6. Call Derek/S.O. of choice.
7. Watch House.
8. Repeat steps 6 & 7 at least 4 times, replacing "Derek" with "Mom," "Dad," "John," "Connie," or "Shirley."
9. "OK. No more procrastinating."
10. One more beer.
11. Empty the sink, moving all dirty dishes to the side.
12. Clean the mold out of the bottom of the sink.
13. Using the Sponge of Questionable Nobility, use cold water and destroy all ecosystems out of the first sinkful.
14. Once the chunks have washed away, use scalding hot water, the Most Honorable Sponge, and liberal amounts of Dawn to clean each plate, fork and spoon individually.
15. Repeat steps 13 & 14 until the hot water runs out.
As this was all happening, I kept thinking, "There has GOT to be an easier way to do this."
Oh, wait. Maybe...DO IT AS IT HAPPENS LIKE SHIRLEY HAS TOLD ME SINCE I WAS FOURTEEN.
Sigh...
2. Watch a movie.
3. Repeat steps 1 & 2 for a week.
4. "OK, seriously, I have to do the dishes."
5. Have a beer.
6. Call Derek/S.O. of choice.
7. Watch House.
8. Repeat steps 6 & 7 at least 4 times, replacing "Derek" with "Mom," "Dad," "John," "Connie," or "Shirley."
9. "OK. No more procrastinating."
10. One more beer.
11. Empty the sink, moving all dirty dishes to the side.
12. Clean the mold out of the bottom of the sink.
13. Using the Sponge of Questionable Nobility, use cold water and destroy all ecosystems out of the first sinkful.
14. Once the chunks have washed away, use scalding hot water, the Most Honorable Sponge, and liberal amounts of Dawn to clean each plate, fork and spoon individually.
15. Repeat steps 13 & 14 until the hot water runs out.
As this was all happening, I kept thinking, "There has GOT to be an easier way to do this."
Oh, wait. Maybe...DO IT AS IT HAPPENS LIKE SHIRLEY HAS TOLD ME SINCE I WAS FOURTEEN.
Sigh...
Saturday, August 16, 2008
The Woman Formerly Known as Ms. Amanda
Summer...camp...is...OVER!!!
There are no words to describe this awesomeness.
So now, in true YA style, I'll do a summer update in list form!
Five things I will miss about this summer:
1) Mom and Shirley
How many people are lucky enough to have a family that they actually LOVE hanging around? Or a mom who's willing to play DDR with you on the boardwalk? C'mon, that's straight-up AWESOME.
2) Geocaching
The permanent end to the, "What do you want to do?" debate. Treasure hunting--high-tech style.
3) Seeing Dani frequently.
More than once a year is "frequently." So I'll definitely take what we've gotten this summer, and it's been great to spend more than three "HIBYE" days with her.
4) Kicking major ass at Egyptian RatScrew.
I spent most of my freshman year getting beaten into obliteration by Seth Carson at Egyptian Ratscrew in the Vortex. Seems that I absorbed some of that greatness, though. I completely dominated everyone at work on it. (No, not just the ten year olds, thank you smartasses.)
5) Not having to practice so hard-core.
OK, I know I really shouldn't be happy about this one, but it was so nice. I could just go do my own thing after work and not have to worry about having a trumpet on my face three hours a day. It will kill me in about a week, but for now, I'm comfortable floating down Denile River.
Five things I will NOT miss about this summer:
1) Band-aids.
Band-aids are badges of honor. They are not just blood-stoppers. They are a seven year old's Purple Heart. No matter how small the injury, any child will swear on their mother's honor they need a Band-aid. And guess who has to stop what she's doing to explain WHY the bruise doesn't need a Band-aid?
2) Driving a 15-passenger van full of kids begging me to turn the radio to 102 JAMZ.
3) Having NO internet.
Seriously, there's a reason I haven't posted lately. I've been a terrible friend via Facebook AND Blogger AND Absolute Write. We just got wireless in my house--right in time for me to leave.
4) Writing total for this summer: 3.5k.
'Nuff said.
5) High-strung parents.
Your child flung four scooters across the gym at another kid and you want to know why the OTHER kid didn't get suspended? You want us to ignore your child's punishment because it's his birthday and you brought cupcakes? You think I told your child to pick up a stray cat? The list goes on and on and on.
Five wonderful memories from this summer:
1) IRELAND.
No post I ever make will do that trip justice. I've never been somewhere with no family ties and been positive I'd be going back.
2) Meeting Jamie.
Jamie was a friend Dani brought from working at TIP. I clicked with her almost the fastest of anyone I've met in the past few years, which was wonderful.
3) The Fourth of July in Ocean City, Maryland.
Talk about a PARTY. The fireworks were awesome, the boardwalk was always crowded, and the weather was great (except the downpour imediately after the fireworks. But you know, we'll take what we can get.) Also I had my first experience of gorging myself on crab. Blue Crab, to be exact. AMAZING. First time--but NOT the last.
4) Having Mike, John, Kathryn, and Marie over.
OK, so the bonfire ended up a bust, but it was still great to have everyone over. It was just a very chill, good time. Even though nothing really striking happened, it was just a very nice time.
5) Finding the skunk Geocaching.
That was really TOO funny. I pulled back a bush to grab the cache, and WOW! Pepe le Phew was HOME! I don't think I've ever moved that fast in my life.
Finally, the most satisfying part of Summer 2008:
Turning in my City Employee's badge and saying, "Nope. I'm not coming back next summer."
"Are you su--"
"Yes. I'm positive."
On to Band Camp.
There are no words to describe this awesomeness.
So now, in true YA style, I'll do a summer update in list form!
Five things I will miss about this summer:
1) Mom and Shirley
How many people are lucky enough to have a family that they actually LOVE hanging around? Or a mom who's willing to play DDR with you on the boardwalk? C'mon, that's straight-up AWESOME.
2) Geocaching
The permanent end to the, "What do you want to do?" debate. Treasure hunting--high-tech style.
3) Seeing Dani frequently.
More than once a year is "frequently." So I'll definitely take what we've gotten this summer, and it's been great to spend more than three "HIBYE" days with her.
4) Kicking major ass at Egyptian RatScrew.
I spent most of my freshman year getting beaten into obliteration by Seth Carson at Egyptian Ratscrew in the Vortex. Seems that I absorbed some of that greatness, though. I completely dominated everyone at work on it. (No, not just the ten year olds, thank you smartasses.)
5) Not having to practice so hard-core.
OK, I know I really shouldn't be happy about this one, but it was so nice. I could just go do my own thing after work and not have to worry about having a trumpet on my face three hours a day. It will kill me in about a week, but for now, I'm comfortable floating down Denile River.
Five things I will NOT miss about this summer:
1) Band-aids.
Band-aids are badges of honor. They are not just blood-stoppers. They are a seven year old's Purple Heart. No matter how small the injury, any child will swear on their mother's honor they need a Band-aid. And guess who has to stop what she's doing to explain WHY the bruise doesn't need a Band-aid?
2) Driving a 15-passenger van full of kids begging me to turn the radio to 102 JAMZ.
They simply don't understand why I won't let them listen to the almost unedited version of:
She getting crunk in the club I mean she working
Then I like to see the female twerking taking the clothes off BUCKEY nakedATL.
Hoe don’t disrespect it
Pa pop yo pussy like this cause yin yang twins in this bitch
Lil Jon and theEast side boys wit me and we all like to see Ass and tities
Now bring yo ass over here hoe and let me see you get low if you want this Thug
Now take it to the floor (to the floor) and if yo ass wanta act you can keep yo ass where you at
Yep. I'm unreasonable.
3) Having NO internet.
Seriously, there's a reason I haven't posted lately. I've been a terrible friend via Facebook AND Blogger AND Absolute Write. We just got wireless in my house--right in time for me to leave.
4) Writing total for this summer: 3.5k.
'Nuff said.
5) High-strung parents.
Your child flung four scooters across the gym at another kid and you want to know why the OTHER kid didn't get suspended? You want us to ignore your child's punishment because it's his birthday and you brought cupcakes? You think I told your child to pick up a stray cat? The list goes on and on and on.
Five wonderful memories from this summer:
1) IRELAND.
No post I ever make will do that trip justice. I've never been somewhere with no family ties and been positive I'd be going back.
2) Meeting Jamie.
Jamie was a friend Dani brought from working at TIP. I clicked with her almost the fastest of anyone I've met in the past few years, which was wonderful.
3) The Fourth of July in Ocean City, Maryland.
Talk about a PARTY. The fireworks were awesome, the boardwalk was always crowded, and the weather was great (except the downpour imediately after the fireworks. But you know, we'll take what we can get.) Also I had my first experience of gorging myself on crab. Blue Crab, to be exact. AMAZING. First time--but NOT the last.
4) Having Mike, John, Kathryn, and Marie over.
OK, so the bonfire ended up a bust, but it was still great to have everyone over. It was just a very chill, good time. Even though nothing really striking happened, it was just a very nice time.
5) Finding the skunk Geocaching.
That was really TOO funny. I pulled back a bush to grab the cache, and WOW! Pepe le Phew was HOME! I don't think I've ever moved that fast in my life.
Finally, the most satisfying part of Summer 2008:
Turning in my City Employee's badge and saying, "Nope. I'm not coming back next summer."
"Are you su--"
"Yes. I'm positive."
On to Band Camp.
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