College Kid's Guide to Dirty Dishes

1. Walk in. Smell. Say, "I have to do the dishes TODAY."

2. Watch a movie.

3. Repeat steps 1 & 2 for a week.

4. "OK, seriously, I have to do the dishes."

5. Have a beer.

6. Call Derek/S.O. of choice.

7. Watch House.

8. Repeat steps 6 & 7 at least 4 times, replacing "Derek" with "Mom," "Dad," "John," "Connie," or "Shirley."

9. "OK. No more procrastinating."

10. One more beer.

11. Empty the sink, moving all dirty dishes to the side.

12. Clean the mold out of the bottom of the sink.

13. Using the Sponge of Questionable Nobility, use cold water and destroy all ecosystems out of the first sinkful.

14. Once the chunks have washed away, use scalding hot water, the Most Honorable Sponge, and liberal amounts of Dawn to clean each plate, fork and spoon individually.

15. Repeat steps 13 & 14 until the hot water runs out.

As this was all happening, I kept thinking, "There has GOT to be an easier way to do this."

Oh, wait. Maybe...DO IT AS IT HAPPENS LIKE SHIRLEY HAS TOLD ME SINCE I WAS FOURTEEN.

Sigh...