Maybe I should contemplate.

Yesterday was my last official day of student teaching.

(I'm still here, of course, because the concert is Tuesday, but I don't have to be here anymore. And that makes all the difference.)

It seems like the official end of my undergraduate education should have some level of contemplation attached, but I'm not feeling terribly pensive. I graduate Sunday, but I really don't care all that much. Everyone's acting like it's such a big deal that I'm graduating Magna Cum Laude, but I feel stupid for it because I slacked a lot sometimes and easily could have been Summa Cum Laude. Everyone acts like this is a major accomplishment, but it isn't, because I've been slated to graduate from college since I was six.

It's not any great accomplishment. It's just a stepping stone, a hoop I had to jump through before I could have any real impact on the world. It's not worth recognizing. It was a completely selfish endeavor--I was too preoccupied with the things I had to do to do anything worthwhile.

The reason I graduated can be basically broken down into things that have nothing whatsoever to do with anything I've done.

1) I'm white, and an American citizen.

2) I have been given immense cultural capital by my family, enabling me to navigate the world and find funds, even when we didn't have any.

3) I have an above-average brain, meaning I can understand and accomplish things without a lot of work.

4) I have been given endless love and support.

5) "Coincidences" in my life, bringing me close to Shirley and trumpet and those around me.

How can we be arrogant? There is nothing in me that is because of me. Everything I am, everything I've done, is because of God. Anything good in me is God's. All the talent, the coincidences, the people who love me...I had as much say in that as I do in tomorrow's weather.

So people congratulate me, and I'm not sure what to say, because none of it's me. Yes, I'm graduating. Yes, I'm glad.

But I'm not proud. I haven't done anything to be proud of.

Technlology Portfolio and other Wastes of My Time

I think certain people in the School of Music and College of Ed have a game. Their game is to avoid and ignore student's phone calls for as long as possible, as well as not returning any messages. Then, once they have you good and freaked out because you're supposed to graduate SUNDAY and NO ONE HAS CHECKED YOUR TECHNOLOGY PORTFOLIO, they cackle and sit back on their thrones of shattered dreams.

So I'm so glad I put this thing together. Because really, I can tell how significant it is by how quickly they're responding to my inquiries.

On the upside, I'll be done with ASU FOREVER after this Sunday.

If someone signs my Technology Portfolio.

But I am le tired...

Dear College of Ed,

While I appreciate what you are trying to do with this "daily and weekly reflection" thing, and I should muse on the things I did correctly and poorly this week, and I'm supposed to write a couple paragraphs about the differences between classroom management and discipline according to the Gospel of Harry Wong, I can't freaking do it right now. I understand that it's supposed to be an important part of the process, but the only reflection I want to see right now is the inside of my eyelids. Which isn't even a reflection.

I just taught two full classes of over fifty kids for over an hour each, and I am seriously considering torching my shoes. So I say this with all the love in the world: shut the hell up.

Love, Amanda.

Can't type. Fingers frozen.

I have been a bit slack on the blogging front, as my mother has noticed. (To which I say, "Do you comment?" "No..." "Then how the hell do I know anyone reads it?" "Um...")

Life is wonderful except when it's not. Snow is OK except when it isn't, like football games and marching band rehearsals. I am mostly over my devastating case of ANTHRAX, which basically kept me out of commission for a month. Sometimes I don't suck at trumpet.

However, I do have one question, administrators: exactly what that is covered in an hour or two class at university is more important than the safety and health of your students? Where do you draw the line between, "We keep school going when it snows!" and "The AppalCart can't get out of Mountaineer Village without sliding down the hill?"

Because seriously. This effing sucks and you don't give a damn about your students.

/end rant.

College Kid's Guide to Dirty Dishes, part deux

1. Say, "There is NO WAY I'm letting it get that bad again."

2. Clean dishes right when they get dirty.

3. Live in this delusion for approximately eight days.

4. Repeat previous entry.

College Kid's Guide to Dirty Dishes

1. Walk in. Smell. Say, "I have to do the dishes TODAY."

2. Watch a movie.

3. Repeat steps 1 & 2 for a week.

4. "OK, seriously, I have to do the dishes."

5. Have a beer.

6. Call Derek/S.O. of choice.

7. Watch House.

8. Repeat steps 6 & 7 at least 4 times, replacing "Derek" with "Mom," "Dad," "John," "Connie," or "Shirley."

9. "OK. No more procrastinating."

10. One more beer.

11. Empty the sink, moving all dirty dishes to the side.

12. Clean the mold out of the bottom of the sink.

13. Using the Sponge of Questionable Nobility, use cold water and destroy all ecosystems out of the first sinkful.

14. Once the chunks have washed away, use scalding hot water, the Most Honorable Sponge, and liberal amounts of Dawn to clean each plate, fork and spoon individually.

15. Repeat steps 13 & 14 until the hot water runs out.

As this was all happening, I kept thinking, "There has GOT to be an easier way to do this."

Oh, wait. Maybe...DO IT AS IT HAPPENS LIKE SHIRLEY HAS TOLD ME SINCE I WAS FOURTEEN.

Sigh...