FOUR MONTHS?

The "dangit I didn't get Mission Intern" has mostly worn off, mostly between the hours of 1-2 AM when I couldn't get to sleep because I was so excited. Well, I was also excited about heading up to Delaware to visit some of Shirley's friends today, but mostly about US-2.

And, AGAIN, I have been paralyzed, because there really isn't anything for me to do right now. (Crap.) Which leads us back to Shirley's constant declarations of, "You need a job."

Boo, job. I am thoroughly not interested, because pretty much the only job I would be able to get is probably total shit. And I am NOT going back to work for the city.

I should probably address that large question that has been popping up everywhere: What the crap is a US-2?

So now you know.

And knowing is half the battle.

Or not.

So now that the initial disappointment has worn off, I'm pretty stoked.

I know that I have somewhere to be in fall. My cell phone will work. I won't have to get shots. I'll still get the mission experience, and I'm only 22. I still have loads of time left to live in other parts of the world, and one opportunity begets others.

So this will be a very good experience, and I know that where I'm going is exactly where God wants me to be.

(Although, if one more person tells me, "I'm glad you won't be out of the country," I might punch them in the sternum.)

And it's a Bittersweet Symphony this life...

Bitter: John and I got hopelessly lost in the dark on the way home from the beach.

Sweet: We got to get dinner with Lauren before we left.

Bitter: It was cloudy and cold almost the whole time there.

Sweet: It was sunny the very last day.

Bitter: Huge parts of me are sunburned.

Sweet: I have a permanent imprint of John's hand on my shoulder, because he cannot apply sunscreen.

Bitter: I did not get a Mission Intern position.

Sweet: I DID get a US-2 position.

So...I don't know how to feel right now.

OPA!

I am having one of those ridiculously great weekends where everything I'm doing is beyond cool.

Friday: John came down and we went with Mom and Shirley to the Greek Festival! It was awesome. I love festivals! I think all our lives would be better if we had more festivals. I believe this. There were great dancers and music, and I got a jingly belt. Why? BECAUSE I CAN and it makes me smile.

Saturday: Met at West Stokes, then headed down with the choir to Carowinds. I haven't been there in a few years, and it was a LOT more fun than I remember it being. True, we didn't do so well at the start. The Hurler was broken, then Top Gun (aka "AFTERBURN!") was closed for thunder, then Spongebob closed (we were pretty devastated by that...) and finally Thunder Road wasn't cooperating either. But towards the end of the day everything started working and we got a chance to ride almost everything! The new coaster, Carolina Cobra, was a lot better than the Carowinds standard. Maybe now that it's owned by the Ceader Point people, we'll get some good coasters in there!

John picked me up from Carowinds and we proceeded to drive down to Myrtle Beach, spending the entire trip scanning rap stations for the "I'm on a Boat" song and dancing like the 100% caucasian individuals we are.

Sunday: We've gotten to hang out with LAUREN! which is great fun. John and I have played in the Very Cold Atlantic Ocean, and I am slightly less tranlucent than I was yesterday. Since it's my first time at Myrtle Beach, we went down to Broadway at the Beach.

And holy crap this looks amazing. However, John and Lauren are Way Cooler Than I Am, and refused to go buy a wand to solve the puzzles and follow ancient runes. Whatever. Lameasses.

The new Star Trek movie freaking rocks. I think the best part was the middle of the movie, when John and Lauren on either side of me both went, "Holy crap! What's going on?"

Hooray, time-bending mind warp.

I hope everyone else's weekend is going as fantabulously as mine!

Maybe I should contemplate.

Yesterday was my last official day of student teaching.

(I'm still here, of course, because the concert is Tuesday, but I don't have to be here anymore. And that makes all the difference.)

It seems like the official end of my undergraduate education should have some level of contemplation attached, but I'm not feeling terribly pensive. I graduate Sunday, but I really don't care all that much. Everyone's acting like it's such a big deal that I'm graduating Magna Cum Laude, but I feel stupid for it because I slacked a lot sometimes and easily could have been Summa Cum Laude. Everyone acts like this is a major accomplishment, but it isn't, because I've been slated to graduate from college since I was six.

It's not any great accomplishment. It's just a stepping stone, a hoop I had to jump through before I could have any real impact on the world. It's not worth recognizing. It was a completely selfish endeavor--I was too preoccupied with the things I had to do to do anything worthwhile.

The reason I graduated can be basically broken down into things that have nothing whatsoever to do with anything I've done.

1) I'm white, and an American citizen.

2) I have been given immense cultural capital by my family, enabling me to navigate the world and find funds, even when we didn't have any.

3) I have an above-average brain, meaning I can understand and accomplish things without a lot of work.

4) I have been given endless love and support.

5) "Coincidences" in my life, bringing me close to Shirley and trumpet and those around me.

How can we be arrogant? There is nothing in me that is because of me. Everything I am, everything I've done, is because of God. Anything good in me is God's. All the talent, the coincidences, the people who love me...I had as much say in that as I do in tomorrow's weather.

So people congratulate me, and I'm not sure what to say, because none of it's me. Yes, I'm graduating. Yes, I'm glad.

But I'm not proud. I haven't done anything to be proud of.

Technlology Portfolio and other Wastes of My Time

I think certain people in the School of Music and College of Ed have a game. Their game is to avoid and ignore student's phone calls for as long as possible, as well as not returning any messages. Then, once they have you good and freaked out because you're supposed to graduate SUNDAY and NO ONE HAS CHECKED YOUR TECHNOLOGY PORTFOLIO, they cackle and sit back on their thrones of shattered dreams.

So I'm so glad I put this thing together. Because really, I can tell how significant it is by how quickly they're responding to my inquiries.

On the upside, I'll be done with ASU FOREVER after this Sunday.

If someone signs my Technology Portfolio.

E as in Emotional Warfare!

The Scene: Middle School Band Rehearsal.

Band Director: OK, we're going to start back at E.

Flute player: D or E?

Band Director: E as in...elephant...Edward. E as in Edward!

Half the class, mostly those with longer hair holding woodwinds: Yes! Edward!

The other half of the class, mostly those with short hair: NOOOO!!!

Band Director: Confused face.

One Oblivious Trumpet Player: What's wrong with Edward?

Percussionist: He steals our girlfriends!!!